Fight or Flight?

When I got married 3 years ago, it never occur to me that one day, I'll have to be fighting for Hub's attention and love. (Of course, at the back of my mind, it did occur to me that maybe one day I'll be fighting with our kids.. but that's a different story.)

However, it NEVER EVER occur to me that I'll be fighting with OBIL for Hub's attention, love, consideration, commitment, promises and fairness in handling things.

Somehow, along the way of our 3 years together, OBIL seemed to be making more and more demands that requires immediate attention from Hub to see to it. Which Hub will never reject. Like the obedient slave to his master. "Yes, Sir" "Yes, Sir" always the reply. Along with the "Yes, Sir" my resentment towards OBIL grew and grew and grew.

And these 3 years, we bicker and had our fair share of disagreements and tiffs and cold wars, just like any other normal couples. Our major fights are few and far in between, which I do think is a healthy sign and really thank God for that. But! our major fights always revolved around the SAME, ONE topic - OBIL.

I do not understand nor find it acceptable that Hub can allow this 1 man to crept and impose on our marriage, and I've expressed it loud and clear, in fact crystal clear, multiple times.

Yet, it falls on deaf ears. Hub simply took me as a mad dog barking and still find all the demands from the OBIL, reasonable, acceptable, do-able and "not at all an issue".

Yeap. My 1 torn in the flesh that is stuck so deep that, if I leave it inside, it will hurt and spread to other areas, causing even more harm, maybe leaving me to amputate an arm and a leg at the end of the day. Yet, if I take it out, it probably requires a massive operation to just remove this torn with a full GA administered to me.

Tell me, what should I do?

I'm tired. Tired of fighting of the same topic. Tired of not understanding why just can't the grown up OBIL take charge of his own things and leave us alone. Tired of swallowing it down and trying to convince myself that Hub is a good man because he values family ties. (This family ties seems to only apply to OBIL but not to me.) Tired of fighting with Hub.

I'm so tired of fighting... so for once, I'm thinking of taking flight, to run away and to escape from it all and since Hub values his bro more than this marriage, maybe I really should just let Hub go back to his bro and there, we'll both be happier?

At least, I do not have to fight Hub for doing whatever OBIL wants him to do. Hub will no longer have to justify nor attempt to explain nor lie to me anymore.

There, with my flight, what he does for his bro is not my concern and neither will I always feel that resentment for OBIL.

A flight does sound attractive.