Affairs of the Heart.

Have been chatting to Trina and Godma recently about "Affairs" of the heart and I guess body too.

Fm the "married for a number of years" view point, if the couple are having problems, be it the fault of the wife or the fault of the man. All it takes is just a 3rd party to come into the picture and it is so easy for either party to fall into tempatation and then the marriage is seriously on the rocks! And when such things happen, is it the fault of the wife or the fault of the husband? Well, one can't be certain, she says, coz have to look at the situation and then be able to make a judgment and where possible make atonements and then to mend the re-ship. Though it's not easy but as long as both parties are willing to try to come back to each other and with the grace of God, I guess it is possible.

While fm the "not yet" married view point, it seems to me that if he strays, and cannot give the assurance or mend the trust and feelings back, then it is time to let go.

From these 2 stand points, both are reasonable reactions but what is my own stand point?

Will I be taking the "married" stand point or the "unmarried" stand point? Does this stand point change after getting married and having kiddies? I think for most women, (and maybe men) it would. But can the other party who did not stray forgive and forget the whole issue and learn to move on with life as though nothing has ever happened before?

As a woman, can i tolerate my hubby playing the fields after marriage? I don't know. Godma says, if both parties is to be blamed then shd move on... but wat if it is just 1 party? Still move on? I know my faith teaches me that there is NO divorce and the only way the marriage can be annulled is if either 1 party went into the matrimony withholding information and did not concomsunate the marriage and that the marriage was not done in the house of God. I think for my case, I do not fit any of the above on grounds of annullement... so the best that we can do is really to work hard and work harder at our marriage!