Joy and Blessings

Ever since that shocking news that I got about 1 week back, I've not posted anything for sometime. Needed the time to think through and also to come to terms with it. In fact, beginning to relish and bask in the new found attention that all the kind people around me are showering on me!

I guess, if by now, still don't know, I'll release and confirm the news...

I'm Pregnant! =)

I guess, I've never cried so much and hard in the 2 days that I found out I was pregnant. The disbelief, the shock and all the concerns that comes with a baby came rushing to me and crashing to me; causing me to be in a roller coaster ride. I even questioned God, why now? Even hoped for a miscarriage, which was sooooooooo evil of me! (And I guess, that's why the sac was not stable and made me spot coz the BB detected that the mommy don't want and was thus unstable? I don't know.)

For no reason or nothing I would start crying. Worrying myself sick on the financial, the medical, the care giver, the time the responsibilities that comes with a newborn.

But a week has pass, I'm emotionally more stable now. It's a blessing that the Lord has bless us with and we'll do our best. I still think that it's not the best time for a baby at this moment in time, given that hubby and me are studying part time. But then again, who on earth can tell God that He is wrong to be giving us a baby now?

His time is definitely not our time. But since He wants to bless us with a baby and that this is the right time according to him. So be it then.

Anyway, I'm given a 7 days hospitalization leave since Tuesday. Cause the sac does not seem to be too stable. Given jab, medication, scans, blood test and leave, which costs me almost $400!!

Resting at home, surf net, do some revisions for exams and the week just seem to pass. HL ends on Monday. Will be heading back to office on Tuesday. I think the amount of work will be scary.. but don't want to think about that for the time being.

Will also be going back to see Gynae on Wed morning, I'm praying that by next week, will be able to hear / see the BB's heartbeat or at least some assurance that it's developing well. I read somewhere that when the heartbeat is detected, the risks of having a miscarriage goes right down! I'm praying for that.

And my nice boss has been so sweet and nice. He merely told me, rest well and take care. Don't worry about the work, he will ask someone to cover and on Thursday, he even sms me again asking how I was.

I'm really so impressed and respectful of him. Where to get such a nice boss?!

Anyway, my condition has also more or less stabilized I hope. Spotting has reduce significantly after all the med, there still is some, but not as much as previously anymore. Only when I'm on my feet for too long a time, will start to feel cramp and the spoting comes back.

Other than that, I'm eating like a cow. Wake up to a normal breakfast, within 2 hours, I need tea. Another 2 hours, lunch then tea and then dinner. Sometimes supper too! Gosh!!! Hubby and the rest says hungry must eat. Ya la, easy for them to say lei... since I'm the one growing fat. But I don't eat snacks. Mostly just bread or biscuits to ward off the hunger pangs. No special cravings also. Just want to eat vege and vege and more vege. No idea why, the greener the vege, the more I eat. Maybe this BB is gonna be a monk / nun? So eating lots of vege now. hahahahaha...

I'm told that during this first Tri, it's the mother who gets all the fats. I DON'T WANT!!!! So will try to limit myself as to what I put into my mouth. Morning sickness have not started yet. Was told that some woman don't get it.

But I'm hoping to get it. Coz MS is also a sign that the BB is developing well. I know I sound mad to say I want. But I was given medication during the very early stages of my pregnancy, maybe like conception time, which some of the medication could be harmful to the BB.... So I really rather have MS to assure myself that all is well.

Hubby says, eat now since I can eat. Wait till MS start, I want also cannot eat!

No idea if I should be getting Pretty Pinks and Purples or Boyish Blues and Greens for the moment. Just wait and see. And it is at this point in time that I truly appreciate what Wise and Lyn have been saying all along. "Anything also can, as long as healthy!"